The Puppet and Puppeteer, 2015-14
By: McCoy, Megan D.
” The heart beating in my chest, I can hear it now because its dead silent here. My brain no longer has any thoughts. My aches and pains settle in my chest where doubt, worry, and dissatisfaction have piled up. No longer are my dreams within reach. No longer is my happiness eternal. No longer am I a human, for I am a puppet.”
A room so silent as an audience awaits. A show unpracticed, seems to be quite the attraction. A puppet, a fool. An imaginative puppet I am so, to believe that anyone could ever believe in me to do the things I wanted to do. To do the things I once had aspired to do. Believers it seemed. A puppeteer, a fools master. Only to know one thing. To pull, to twist, to bend and to break a puppets soul, a puppets heart. A puppeteer, a false believer, a bad actress tries to make belief how much she believes in her puppet. A puppet, a fool only so naïve believes in such false acts. Builds up her confidence, and lifts her head up high. Runs after a drifting dream so ambitiously, only to be pulled back by her master.
The dream now gone, a puppet sinks low. Head down, arms to rest. A puppet, and puppeteer now settle. Curtains close, crowed cheers. Away goes the puppet and puppeteer.
Strings no longer, thoughts now ponder. Heart still beats, aches now weak. Dreams a shadow; happiness, a good thought. I am human dammit, I have a voice. A puppet no more, I walked out the door. Dreams still distant, but there is no resisting; my legs begin to run free, a smile forms upon my face. For once in my life the hands that hold the dreams and happiness are mine!
Happiness like a drug, relieving the aches as strings pull. Smiling again, laughing again. Seeing a future-again. Feeling the beat of my heart, not strings tugging at it. Happiness. Freeness.
Life. Once a puppet now a puppeteer. I am in control. I choose to be happy. Not sad, not puppet like. So now I play to the beat of my own drum. Words, in my head are happy. Thoughts.
My love. I met a love. That’s when I left my puppeteer. Love. Happy love, saved me from my puppeteer. Faith, hope, future, us together forever. Happy thoughts they were. One end faithfulness failed, on the other end too soft spoken. Too nice. Too caring. Love never faded. Love still overflows. Happy thoughts, no more. That drug thing, happiness. Gone.
Heartstrings pulling, tugging. Tug, Tug, Tug. Tears streaming down my face. Heart beat stops, oh the pain. The strings, too much. Love hurt me. Love. Love? Happiness, I thought I knew. Forever, I thought was true. Us, never happened. Together, never more. Future, was a very distant dream. Faith was broken, my heart shattered. Hope, all is lost. I am a puppet again. I always have been.
Love was never true. Do this, do that. Love was never meant. Words never true. False words like a waterfall, from your mouth. Your eyes like a book, easy to read. The waterfall is heard, never seen. Happy thoughts were false, they were manmade. Happy thoughts never happened, they were the invisible string. Never in control was I. You were my new master. My new puppeteer. Always a puppet was I, a fool. Yet to leave, yet to go. Your puppet still, what would you like me to do? There is a new crowd watching, cheering. Encore encore.